Why YOU WILL Win The Billion Dollar Bracket

When Warren Buffett announced that he and Quicken Loans were going to offer up to 15 million people the opportunity to guess the NCAA Tournament perfectly and win a billion dollars, it immediately stirred up a storm. All I have read are a bunch of articles about how you have no chance at winning. I can’t stand such negativity. So, I’ve put together the only article out there as to “Why YOU WILL Win The Billion Dollar Bracket.” Here are the facts:

1. Mathematical odds/the analytics movement is overrated.

People will say that there is a 9.2 quintillion to one chance of getting a perfect NCAA bracket. To those people, I respond, “What’s a quintillion? Sounds made up by the same people that caused the 2008 financial crisis.” With the Sloan Sports Conference, Nate Silver and FiveThirtyEight, and other such representations of the advancements of analytics, the facts show that it really won’t work out. For all the success of “Moneyball,” how many championships do the Oakland A’s have? Exactly. The best still wins. You’re the best. You’re better than math. You got this.

2. Warren Buffett is an idiot.

So, this guy is the most noted American businessman and knowledgeable on economics in so many ways? He’s worth billions, and has the kindness to donate much of it to worthwhile charities? He’s one of the most savvy investors in the world and highly respected by pretty much everyone on Wall Street? So what? He’s all old now. He’s probably senile. His time is over. It’s now your time, baby! With his billion dollars! 

I really hope a librarian wins the billion dollars.

 3. You know college basketball (even if you don’t).

Come on, you watched practically every game that was available to you on cable this season. You know these teams hands down and have analyzed everything that could possibly happen. And, sure, the NCAA Tournament never has any surprises. Or, come on, you watched the night that Michigan State played Kentucky and Duke played Kansas, and never watched a game again this season. You know college basketball. It’s in your blood.

4. You’re probably due.

Look, life hasn’t treated you well in some way. You’re certainly not Warren Buffett. You work a crappy job. You hate your significant other. You’re obviously depressed in some way. All you live for is sports or lottery tickets. This is that wonderful moment where you can bring both of them together. God owes you a billion dollars. Life sucks, and now it won’t thanks to your perfect bracket!